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Dark caves

The people who wrote the following stories selected this location on the journey map as the best match for how they felt through this time of their life.

My Story...
By June Harris.

Categories: Dark caves, Purple, Posture 8, Confused

When my father was young his father used to take him down to the Domain, to listen to the Sunday speakers and the one he remembered the most is old Bro. Wotton, speaking about the Gospel of the Kingdom of God to be established on this earth with Jesus as being King.
Many years later after he married and had 4 children he got to read Elpis Israel, a book which his father had given him before he died. He started to study it, and decided that is what he believed and went looking for a Christadelphian Ecclesia.   He found one at Lakemba, which had been going for a short while, and he and Mum were both baptized there.
We kids didn’t know anything about this as we were all sent to the local Baptist Church which was in our street and were quite happy there as a lot of our friends went there also. We weren’t that happy to leave that Sunday school and have to catch the train to Lakemba, as we lived in Punchbowl. To start at a new Sunday school where we didn’t know anybody..
I have to say now, it was the best thing to have happened to us as we all attended the Sunday school activities and eventually we 4 kids were baptized into the saving name of Jesus.
I don’t remember the ages of my brothers, but I was baptized when I was 14. When I look back that does seem young but that was what I wanted to do.    
I joined Lakemba Ecclesia and gradually met more young people from other Ecclesias, but I ever only had eyes for Keith Harris. We gradually started going together and became engaged, but then disaster struck.
One rainy Thursday I was on my way to work, and I generally crossed the main road at the crossing to get to the station to catch the train. Parked right across the crossing was a meat truck with its doors both open for delivery to the butcher’s shop.   I went round the front of the truck to cross, but because it was raining so heavily and I had my umbrella up, I couldn’t see very well. The truck doors that were open block my view and I stepped out into the roadway and was hit by a bus which threw me 20 feet (7 meters) through the air, landing on my head on the other side of the road. A policeman came, as well as the ambulance, but the policeman wrapped my head up in newspaper, as there was plenty of blood around and actually said I was dead..  
I wasn’t dead, God was watching over me and I guess there was still plenty of work for me to do in His service.
I had a fractured skull, concussion, a fractured leg, ligaments of my knee very badly stretched, there were facial injuries, and I was taken to Hospital and remained in a coma for 3 and half days.   
So there were many prayers said for my recovery and thanks be to our Heavenly Father, I survived, although I was in Hospital for a month, then home with my leg in plaster from ankle to thigh for 3 months, and with double vision, causing me to ware a patch over alternate eyes until it righted itself.   I also spoke with a Welsh accent, which gradually faded. 
It was a slow process, but I recovered full health and Keith and I were married the following year.      
We eventually were blessed with 4 children, 3 girls and 1 boy.  There were of course many mishaps and adventures during those years.
Keith had a heart attack in his late 50’s, which he survived under God’s care although quite a few years later he had to have bypass surgery for 4 arteries… which he survived again. 
His time to cease working for the Lord had not come.   
The next big disaster was when we were members of particular Ecclesia and there was a difference of opinion about something or other, which wasn’t that important. I cannot remember, Keith and 5 other brothers were disfellowshipped by letter and I was threatened with it if I continued to associate with Keith. Keith would remember but I have pushed it from my mind. We were all terribly upset to think something like this could happen for a very little reason.   
We eventually formed Port Hacking Ecclesia and spent a couple of years getting the matter sorted out.   
It was eventually and we were back in fellowship with everyone.   
I have to say here that no one, brethren or ecclesias can cut us off from the love of God. His mercy and grace are there for us all and the only person who can cut us away from God is ourselves by our actions and thoughts.   
We put that all behind us and worked with enthusiasm for the Lord in our new Ecclesia.

But I guess the next calamity was my stroke in the year 2000. I was perfectly healthy, Keith and I used to walk 5 kilometres most mornings before breakfast, and we used to work down on our farm as well as in our garden. We were both reasonably fit.
I was hanging the washing out on the line before the Sunday meeting, when I suddenly couldn’t put the pegs on the line with my left hand, I kept dropping them. I thought this is strange; something is the matter with my hand. So I walked back inside the house to tell Keith. He was in the shower and when I went to talk to him and tell him about my hand the words came out so jumbled and back the front, he didn’t know what I was saying. I knew at once I was having a stroke because I had experienced the same thing with my neighbour. Keith was still in the shower and all I could manage to say was “Hospital”. He knew something was wrong, so he laid me on the bed while he dried himself and got dressed. He helped me walk out to the car and drove me straight to Emergency. I even there managed to walk into emergency but that was the last walking I did.
The result was a severe stroke caused by a clot and it made me paralysed on the left side and left me with speech difficulties.    This was absolutely devastating to me as I had no signs of high blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes, or anything else, which could lead to a stroke. I was in Hospital for 10 weeks, in rehabilitation learning to walk and talk again.      
I can now, walk with a stick and a splint on my leg, and can talk again, not always clearly and with some difficulty. Unfortunately my left hand and arm is useless as much as I tried to get it working.
As you can imagine this time was very difficult for me, but thanks to many prayers to God and cards and visits from my family, brethren and friends, I finally got back home. I have to say Keith was rock during this difficult time and he became my carer.    
I had to think that time and chance happen to everyone and it could happen to me as well as anyone else. I prayed to God for courage to accept what had happened to me.   
Walking and talking are things we accept we will always have till we die, and we will go on merrily doing what we always did. It took quite awhile but gradually I felt stronger and more able to cope. I had certainly been pruned back very hard so that I cannot do the same things I did before, but now for the most part I have accepted my disabilities and do what I can.
I have even accepted that if the stroke did come from God, He has given me strength to cope with my disabilities.
“The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.. Blessed is the name of the Lord”.
Four years later I noticed Keith started to act differently. He was normally quite well organized but started doing and saying strange things. I thought, at first, he was finding caring for me was becoming too much and he might need a break, but the family noticed some strange things as well, and we were all getting worried. Also his driving was becoming a bit erratic and he had always been a careful driver. He was becoming difficult to live with, which was not like him at all.   
We talked him into going to see the doctor and he had an x-ray and blood test but everything appeared normal. Then one morning I was out shopping on my scooter and Jacqui called in to see how things were. She found Keith with half of his face dropped as in Bell’s palsy and dribbling at the mouth. She took him straight up to the doctor, who recommended a MRI of the brain with the results to be sent directly to him. We got a call from the doctor in his lunch break, to go and see him at 2.00pm. Jacqui and Chris were still with us and we went up knowing something serious must have shown up, but no idea what it could be.   When we saw the doctor, he asked Keith and I to go into his surgery and spoke to Chris and Jacqui in another surgery. They then came to us, and the doctor told us the result of the MRI. It was the worst possible news we could have had.  It showed a tumour, the size of a twenty-cent piece in the left side of the brain just above the ear. Keith and I were both shocked and stunned. The doctor had already told the girls.   Then somebody said, “What can we do?” The doctor rang then and there for an appointment with a neurosurgeon at St. George hospital for an emergency appointment for Friday morning, this being Wednesday.  
When we got home, that is when it hit us how bad it was. We were too shocked in the doctor’s surgery for it to register, but when we got home we all broke up. That is when my throat started to close up when I cried and then I would lose my breath, which was very distressing for me and others. We were all so shocked; it was hard to come to terms with the news. From then on somebody from the family was always with us, Ros came up from the farm, we managed somehow to get through till Friday, trying not to think of the tumour, and praying to God that everything would be okay and Keith could be treated.  
On Friday Dr. Kwok put the x-rays up for us to see and pointed to the tumour. He said it was Glioblastoma Multiform and was very serious. He said he could operate to remove it but then Keith would have to see an oncologist and a radiologist for further treatment and that there were no guarantees. We were all so shell-shocked, to think that something so serious could be happening to Keith. It was the beginning of a terrible nightmare for us.   
Ros and our son Rog were with us and they were the ones that asked questions. Keith seemed calm but I think he was shell-shocked at the news. I was the one to cry and lose my breath again. Dr. Kwok tried to get his team ready for an operation as soon as possible, but as he was already so busy and wanted his own team he couldn’t arrange it till Saturday week. We left it to our children to inform all our relatives, the ecclesia and our friends. Keith and I couldn’t talk about it at all, as we were still trying to come to terms with this calamity.   
We had family and quite a few visitors on the Saturday as the news spread quickly and that was enough for us. We couldn’t face the meeting on the Sunday morning, listening to the announcement and trying to appear as though there was nothing wrong, so Rog and Jacqui and the kids took us for a ferry ride to Manly and to the aquarium. Anything to take our mind away from the tumour, the operation, treatment and what after effects there would be. During the week, Roger and a neighbour took Keith to watch the cricket, which helped to pass the time till Friday.  
Keith entered Hospital 2.00pm Friday and had a MRI at 3.00 so Dr. Kwok new exactly where the tumour was when he operated to remove it..   
The operation was 8.00am on Saturday morning, and thanks be to our Heavenly Father, the doctor was able to remove the entire tumour, but Keith would have to start both radiotherapy and chemo therapy in December.  Keith recovered amazingly well after such a major operation.
He had many stitches but only a thin line of hair was shaved away for the doctor to get access to remove the skull to get to the tumour.
Both the onconologist and the radiologist never gave us false hope. They both, plus the surgeon, said it was a very aggressive cancer and they hoped that with the chemo and radiotherapy the cancer would not come back.
So in December Keith started the chemo and radiotherapy. A roster was put together by the ecclesia to take Keith to and fro to St George cancer clinic. From this time forward Keith lost his appetite and was feeling quite unwell. He became quite depressed, worrying about the treatment and how it was affecting him, but what was worse he went into his shell and it was very hard for him to communicate with me. He would make the effort to speak to visitors, but after that he just wanted to be quiet and rest. It became very difficult for both of us. I know he was worried about what would become of me if he went, as he was my carer, and he wanted us to move into the Hostel straight away. After consulting with the family, I said no we would wait until all the treatment had finished and then review the situation.     
The doctor gave him a tablet to try and improve his appetite, but it didn’t seem to make much difference.
We went to the meeting in February, but during the hymns he had to sit down, so I sat with him. He wasn’t well and was looking quite pale, so Chris and Neil took us home as soon as the meeting was over. When we parked in our driveway and Keith got out, he looked quite grey and said he had pains in his chest and could not walk from the car, so we got back in the car and took him to Hospital. It was discovered he had a clot in the lung, and was taken off the tablets to improve his appetite as they could cause clots. So he was put on Warfarin to thin the blood and was having constant blood tests. He was still quite weak, with no energy or appetite.
In March Keith had another cat scan and saw Dr. Kwok. The scan showed no traces of cancer. So we felt our prayers had been answered, and Keith would gradually build up his strength and energy and our life would get back to normal.
After this the family took us for some holiday breaks, to Foster, my daughter’s lavender farm, and Lake Tuross..
Keith was now getting his appetite back and was starting to drive again, although I was a bit nervous at first. So we were beginning to think that everything was going to be alright and we were both becoming quite positive. Unfortunately in June, his leg and foot started to swell and became so painful he could not walk on it. He was admitted to hospital with cellulitus, blood poisoning of the leg. He was treated with antibiotics, and was there for 2 weeks. His leg was still painful and he could not drive, and he had lost more weight.
From then on, things started to go very wrong. The trouble was because of his painful leg; I didn’t notice the signs, which told me the tumour was back again.
He was finding it hard to help me get dressed, was having trouble doing up buttons, was becoming very irritable and hard to get on with, which is not like Keith at all. He seemed to be leaning to the left when walking and having trouble using his left hand. And was having headaches, which he didn’t have with the first tumour. We had to see the doctor who was looking after Keith with his bad leg. While the nurse was checking for any clots in the leg, I told the doctor about the previous tumour and how he was acting and the headaches, he decided to send Keith for a cat scan the next morning and come back to see him.  The CAT scan showed another tumour about the same size growing in almost the same spot above the ear.
We were absolutely devastated when we thought everything was going to be okay.
Dr Lennox rang Dr. Kwok straight away, and we saw him that afternoon. He said that this was really bad news, and he would make arrangements to remove the tumour as quickly as he could.
So our nightmare was starting again, only much worse than with the first tumour.
Before the first operation, we did have the hope that everything could be okay.  With this operation we had no such hopes.   We were all so shocked he would have to go through another major brain operation and what would be the consequences.  Nobody had much to say except to try and get through the next few days, and pray to God to give us all the strength to bare this new trial.  
Roger stayed with us that night as I was having trouble helping him in the night. Later that night Keith wanted to use the bottle and I was having trouble helping him, so I called to Roger for help. While Keith was sitting on the edge of the bed he blacked out. Rog rang for the ambulance and they came very quickly. They revived him but said they would have to take him to Sutherland Hospital. We told them Keith had to have major brain surgery at St George Hospital in a few days but they said they had to take him to the nearest hospital. While he was there one of the doctors he was under wanted him to have a pacemaker put in his heart because his pulse rate was so low, but Keith had always had a low pulse rate.
We were getting so upset with the indecision as it was more important to get rid of the tumour. He was getting more symptoms on the left side of the body, as though he had a stroke like me.
They put him on new medication to take down the swelling in the brain, and this medication also made him hungry, as by this time he was getting very thin after all he had been through.   
He was finally allowed to leave the hospital on the Wednesday, had the MRI on the brain the next morning and was operated on that afternoon for the removal of the second tumour, 8 months after the removal of the first..  
He was only in intensive care over night and they put him in a private ward. Unfortunately he was still dopey from the anesthetic and hearing the nurses bell all the time, he thought it was the front door bell and was calling to me to answer it.   When I didn’t come he somehow managed to get out through the sides of the bed and fell and hit his head. He did have a cut on the head but luckily didn’t seem to have done any damage to the operation.
Unfortunately Dr. Kwok could not remove the entire tumour. There was some of the tumour left under the skull which he could not reach and the pressure from the tumour had left Keith paralysed on the left side, the same as me, as if he had had a stroke. So Keith had to stay at St. George this time, for 10 days, until a bed became available at Calvary, for Keith to have rehabilitation to see how he could manage before he came home. He was there for 2 weeks learning how too manage for when he came home.     The problem was he was my carer, so we had to organize to get more help at home. 
During this time we had an appointment with the radiologist and he told us there was no way Keith could have any more radio, as the brain could not take any more. There was a possibility that he could have more chemo, but things were looking really grim, and we didn’t have much hope. We were really down to living one day at a time. The only good thing at this stage was that the medication they had given Keith to reduce the swelling in the brain actually gave him an appetite, so that he enjoyed his food again, and he started to look good in the face, but of course his legs and body were getting thinner.
It was very difficult when he came home, he had quite a few falls, and we discovered that he did not realize that his left side was not working properly. The doctor said that somehow the message wasn’t getting through that everything was not working properly. With me, I know it was the stroke that paralysed me, but Keith had to learn that he could not now do the things he wanted to do.
We saw Dr. Kwok, but he said there was nothing more he could do. We saw the chemo doctor about more chemo, but Keith wasn’t sure, as he had so many more problems now that he couldn’t cope with the nausea as well, and there was no guarantee that it would work, so decided against it.
I had hoped that I might have managed to look after Keith and keep him at home, but the morning of 23rd August, our local doctor came to see Keith as he had had a bad fall in the morning. The doctor took his blood pressure, and watched him walk and thought everything was okay, and gave Rog a script to take to the chemist.
While he was gone Keith called to me and then he started to have a fit. 
It was so terrible to watch. 
I hurried to get a basin in case he was sick. He took his top plate out, but his face was moving all the time and his head shaking.    I hurried to the ‘phone to ring Rog on his mobile and to come home quick as his Dad was having a fit. I felt so helpless and useless..   
Keith was still having the fit and Rog wasn’t back so I hurried to the ‘phone and rang 000, and told them to come quick as Keith was having a fit. By this time Rog came running in, and because by this time, I was so upset, he had to speak to them and asked what he could do and gave them the address. The fit must have lasted 12 /15minutes, and was just stopping, so Rog tried to lay him on the floor, but couldn’t, so he was half carrying and half dragging him onto a bed when the ambulance arrived. They got Keith settled asked all the usual questions and took him to Sutherland Hospital. It was so busy in emergency he stayed there all night.    
The next morning we went to see him there and he started having another fit, which upset me very much, but the nurses came and gave him an injection which seemed to stop it.     Because of his left side, they put him in a ward for stroke victims because that is what his symptoms were like. They were trying to get him into Calvary again for rehabilitation, but they were so busy we had to wait for another week before there was a vacancy. They tried to rehabilitate him so he could come home again, and when he first went there he tried but it was becoming too much for him and he was getting weaker and weaker. I had visits with the social workers and the doctors but they said he was too sick to come home. By this time he became incontinent and was becoming very, very tired and wanted to sleep more and more. He still looked all right in the face; it was the rest of him that was so thin.
We all knew that it was just a matter of time before he would go, but I could not talk about his dying as it upset me too much, and I didn’t know how I was going to manage without him. He was my carer.    
I didn’t want to make him feel any worse about dying than he already did, he was always so conscience of doing the right thing and I knew he was worried about me, but could only put his trust in God to watch over me when he was gone. At this time I discovered a lump growing on his head from the wound.
It was getting bigger and the nurses said it was fluid seeping through the incision as the tumour was growing bigger and the fluid had to go somewhere. He was starting to get headaches quite severely by now and his eyesight was starting to fade.    They put him back in a private room and Ros and Rog were taking it in turns to stay with him at night. He also had morphine by now and had the button to push himself when the pain became too bad. 
Keith never once complained that this had happened to him and kept his sense of humour almost to the end.   The nurses liked his humour and liked looking after him, he was a good patient.
Keith lost his battle with cancer on 25.9.04.    
He died early that morning peacefully.   
Rog, Chris and Jacqui were with him.
Keith is now asleep in the Lord, awaiting the resurrection and the return of Jesus to set up God’s Kingdom on this earth.
Meanwhile God is watching over me and Jesus said “I am with you always.”
There are many times when you feel all alone and everything gets too hard, but after praying to God and asking him for courage to keep going, I find that He does give me courage and I can keep going forward. Not the same as I did, I am much slower and can’t do what I would like to, but a smile, a kind word, a hug, a telephone call, a card, and my support for all the activities of my ecclesia..    
Whatever I can do whether big or little, is to show the love of God and Christ to others and help them on the way to the Kingdom.   

DEPRESSION - MYTHS AND FACTS

Categories: Dark caves, Dark blue, Posture 10, Depressed

Depression is an illness that affects your body, feelings, mood, thoughts and behaviour.  It affects the way you sleep and eat, the way you feel about yourself and the way you think about things in general.  A depressive illness is not the same as a passing blue mood.  It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away.  People with a depressive illness cannot ‘pull themselves together’ and get better.

Any unwelcome life change can trigger a depressive episode such as, a serious loss, chronic illness, childhood trauma, relationship problems, work stress, family issues, and financial problems. The development of depression is often due to a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors as well as other psychological problems.

The symptoms of depression vary from person to person and depend on the type and severity of the depression.  Depression causes changes in thinking, feeling, behaviour and physical well being.  Common symptoms include sadness, withdrawal, inability to concentrate, difficulty making decisions, negative thoughts, crying more, sleeping more, eating more or less, loss of motivation, feelings of guilt, reduced desire for sex, constant exhaustion and suicidal thoughts.  Not everyone who is depressed will experience every symptom mentioned.

Some feelings include:-

Depression causes changes in your thinking – You may experience problems with concentration and decision making.  Some people have difficulty with short term memory like forgetting things all the time.  Negative thoughts like pessimism, poor self-esteem, excessive guilt and self-criticism are all common symptoms.

Depression causes changes in your feelings – You may feel sad and cry for no reason at all.  Some people report that they do not enjoy activities that they once found pleasurable.  You might become more apathetic and lack motivation.  You can feel ‘sped up’ or ‘slowed down’.  Depression is sometimes characterised by feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.

Depression causes changes in your behaviour – Because of how you feel you may act more apathetic.  Social withdrawal is common as people no longer feel comfortable around other people.  You may experience changes in your eating habits either eating more or eating less. Excessive crying is common.  Some neglect their personal appearance and basic hygiene and the desire for sex may disappear altogether.  Because of all these things it is inevitable that work productivity and household responsibilities will suffer.

Depression causes changes in your physical well-being – Despite spending more time sleeping, you may feel exhausted all the time.  Others can’t sleep or don’t sleep soundly.  Many, because they lose their appetite, feel slowed down and may complain of many aches and pains that don’t seem to have any physical cause.  Imagine feeling this way almost all of the time without respite. 

Imagine these symptoms lasting for weeks or even months and years.  Depression may be present if you experience any or all of these symptoms for at least several weeks.  If you consider that you may be depressed please seek help as soon as possible

As there are still many myths surrounding depression, I will try to present some of the more common myths and then the true facts.

Myth 1 – Depression is not a real medical problem.

FACT: Depression is a real and serious condition.  It is no different than diabetes or heart disease in its ability to affect someone’s life.  Depression can have physical and emotional symptoms which make life very difficult for those who have it.

Myth 2 – Depression is something that people can ‘snap out of’ by thinking positively.

FACT: No one chooses to be depressed, why would they, just like no one chooses to have any other medical condition.  You don’t say to someone who has diabetes “you’re choosing to have this diabetes”, yet we say to the depressed, “you could be better, it’s just that you’re choosing to be this way”.  Why is it that only people with depression are choosing to be that way and no-one else with a medical condition. People with depression cannot just ‘snap out of it’ even if they chose to anymore than someone with diabetes or heart disease could.

Myth 3 – The fact that you can’t ‘snap out of’ your depression means that you are weak and feeling sorry for yourself.

FACT: Depression doesn’t mean you have a flawed character or aren’t strong enough emotionally.  Like I said previously, depression cannot be willed away any more than other diseases can.  It is not a sign of weakness or laziness to be depressed.  Given how much stigma is still attached to mental illness, seeking help for depression is an act of courage and strength – not weakness- on your part.

Myth 4 – Depression is caused by something bad happening in your life, like a relationship breakup, the death of a loved one or failing an exam.

FACT:  Depression is more than just having the occasional sad thoughts.  Everyone experiences highs and lows in life and many will feel sad for some time after a serious loss or disappointment, but developing depression does not necessarily require a specific negative event, although it can be associated with trauma from past events.  Depression can arise suddenly, even when things in life seem to be going well but it would be helpful to do a little digging to ascertain if the depression does has some roots in past traumatic events instead of just assuming it’s just a chemical imbalance and nothing else.

Myth 5 – Depression will just go away on its own over time.

FACT: For the very fortunate, depression may go away by itself.  But for others depression can hang on for months, years or indefinitely.  Depression that does go away on its own usually returns in the future if the issues associated with it are left undealt with. Once someone has an episode of depression they are predisposed to have more episodes in the future.

Myth 6 – Talking about depression only makes it worse.

FACT:  It is easy to understand why someone might be concerned about discussing their depression with others but being alone with your thoughts can be even more harmful than facing this disorder head on.  Talk therapy is extremely beneficial when dealing with the causes of depression but usually best done with a professional who knows how to lead you in the right directions and help you through to the other side of depression. It is essential that you find a supportive, non-judgmental, non condemnatory professional to discuss your difficulties with.  I believe that therapy (counselling) is absolutely necessary along with medication if necessary, as medication alone can just be a bandaid and the real issues causing the depression remain unaddressed. There are some like myself for whom counselling is the only avenue for help with depression as we react badly to all antidepressant medications.  Thankfully, for those of us who can’t take medication, counselling works very well to reduce the severity of the symptoms without the need for medication.

Myth 7 – Depression is just a normal part of getting older.

FACT:  Although seniors do generally experience more of the events that can trigger depression like loss of family and friends, ill health, isolation and financial worries, it is not a normal part of aging.  For those over the age of 60 who grew up in an era in which mental illness was not discussed, they may feel more shame about asking for help than someone from a subsequent generation.

Myth 8 – Depression only affects people in Western cultures.

FACT:  This is not so.  Depression does indeed affect other cultures but they belong to a culture where any mention of depression or mental illness as a whole is totally taboo.  It does not mean that they are not depressed just that they have to suffer in silence and pretend they do not have it.  It doesn’t necessarily have to be cultures in other countries, as equally, it can exist in religious cultures where members are laden with guilt and despair as they struggle to cope in an atmosphere of judgment and condemnation.

Myth 9 – Depression affects women only.

FACT:  Although women report being affected by depression twice as much as men, depression affects men just as much.  Men often see depression and asking for help as a sign of weakness and so many go undetected until it’s too late.

Myth 10 – Depression does not exist for children or teenagers, their issues are just a part of growing up. 

FACT:  It would be nice to believe that all children experience a happy, carefree childhood, but sadly that’s simply not the case.  Statistics show that 1 in 33 children and 1 in 8 adolescents are depressed in any given year.  Because children are not as practiced at articulating their feelings as adults are, it is prudent for adults to take the initiative to look for and notice symptoms of depression in children.

Myth 11 – You will inherit depression if someone in your family suffered from it in the past.

FACT:  Although you can be genetically predisposed to depression just as you can be genetically predisposed to high blood pressure or diabetes, it does NOT mean, however, that if a family member has a history of depression, you are destined to suffer from it as well.  It would also depend on what caused the family member to suffer from depression in the first place.

Myth 12 – Depression is a sign of personal sin, punishment from God or spiritual weakness.

FACT:  Depression is NOT a sign of spiritual weakness or hidden sin, nor should it be seen as a punishment from God that we have to passively accept.  Even the strongest Christians experience depression.  Elijah is well known for his depression and the way that God lovingly and gently attended to his needs without judgment or condemnation.  If God, who is the only true healer, has given us the means within our reach to help in our healing, we should be grateful and thank him for blessing us with them and use them, be they medication, counselling or a combination of both (preferably the latter).

Unfortunately it is extremely difficult for Christians to admit they have depression for fear of judgment and condemnation.  I have encountered this on many occasions forcing me to hide my depression and suffer alone.  The main reasons for this difficulty are I believe:-

It is sad, but true, that many in Christian circles do not fully understand the implications or consequences that depression places on someone else’s life, and because of that the depressed gets more guilt thrust on them and feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness exacerbate the depression driving it deeper and deeper. Those who try to dissuade religious people from getting the medical help they need for depression, claiming that faith alone is the cure, are doing devastating harm.   To seek such treatment does not denote a lack of faith, but rather evidence of a willingness to take advantage of what God has made available to us through modern science.  Sometimes what is most needed for the depressed is some good counselling.  There are many deeply spiritual people who have found good Christian counsellors to be greatly beneficial, especially if the causes of depression lie in deep-seated and repressed memories of painful and traumatic past experiences.

The most productive way to assist a depressed person, is to help them get appropriate treatment.

The second most important way to help is to offer emotional support.  This involves understanding, patience, respect and encouragement.  Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully to what they have to say without trying to fix it. Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope.  Encourage the depressed to engage in some activities they once enjoyed but do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon. They need diversion and company, not too many demands that can increase their feelings of failure.

Finally, to the depressed.  Depression can make you feel exhausted, worthless, helpless and hopeless.  These negative thoughts and feelings can make you feel like giving up, but I want to encourage you to hang in there as there will be light at the end of the tunnel eventually.  I too, didn’t believe that it was possible but now at the other end the journey was worth all the pain and hard work involved.  It will be a difficult journey but you will be a different person at the other end.
In the meantime:

I want to end with a verse a dear friend sent me in a card when I was at a very low time and it helped more than she will ever know.  Although, at the time, I did not believe that the verse applied to me, I now know that it did.
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Whenever I would fall back into a depressive episode God would take me back to this verse in order to hang onto it.  There is hope and there is a future, I want you to believe that.  For those of you who can’t yet hang onto this hope and believe it’s possible, we can hang onto it for you and believe for you.   I slowly began to want to know what his plans for me were and what sort of future he had in store for me.  My curiosity kept me hanging onto this hope, although very fragile at times, that things could be different.
As hard as it is, hang onto God with whatever weak fragile thread you have because I know HE never leaves us or forsakes us even though we don’t even believe he’s there at all.  He grieves with us and is waiting for us to be willing to let him take our hands so that he can lift us up again.
“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you (try to) trust in him.” Rom 15:13

God bless.